Dana Michael's Blog

After my fantastic courting experience on E harmony, it only made sense for me to test out another dating website.

Clearly I learn only by banging my head against the same wall over and over again.

After following a friend’s suggestion, I joined “Okcupid”.

“Everyone in Philly” is on it.

It’s a bit like Facebook without the annoying farms or mafia war requests.

My experience on it, thus far, has been interesting to say the least.

Naturally, the first thing you are asked to do after joining is to create a profile with some information about yourself.

Being the self promoter that I am, I added my web site.

All can share in my genius this way.

In retrospect, this was both a good and bad decision.

Good, because my hits have gone up exponentially.

That numerical validation pleases me greatly.

Bad however, because there are a few morons who take my blog very seriously and send me quite inappropriate emails.

I log in to at least for or five emails a day with detailed responses to only my dirtiest articles.

Now, I appreciate fan mail. But, this is a bit different.

Apparently, I must come off as a dirty little whore on this site, because I am asked at least three times this week “how I like it”.

Last night alone I was asked twice if I had a “sexy raspy voice”.

I think these men picture me writing my blog in a dominatrix outfit with a cigarette dangling from my red lips.

If that gets me more hits or breast implant donations, so be it.

But, it’s not the kind of persona I am looking to portray in getting a date.

I took a look at some of these men who were writing me such dribble.

Clearly they didn’t read my profile being that we note whether we are looking for long term relationships, short term relationships or just casual sex.

For the last time…

Dana no likee casual sex.

One would figure that the profile is the first opportunity to best attract a mate.

If this profile were a peacock, it’s feathers would be puffed.

Yet, this is not the case in so many Ok Cupid profiles.

I read one where the guy actually referred to himself as a “playa”.

If you aren’t Big Pun, I never want to hear those words come out of your mouth.

And the choices of profile pictures… my GOD!

You would think people would chose a photo that is at the very least flattering.

Gentleman,

If your picture:

1. Is just your body
2. Is of you and your ex
3. Anything with “gang symbols”
4. Is of you and your bandor
5. Contains a gun

You need to rethink why you are single in the first place.

Maybe you aren’t ready for a relationship?

I know I have seen examples of all five of these pictures and thought, “Hey, I definitely don’t want to date that guy.”

It’s cool to put your crazy halloween picture up there, but as your main photo?

Don’t you know anyone with a camera?

Do yourself a favor, go outside with your phone and ask a stranger to snap a shot of you smiling.

Use that one.

I did, after my vigorous profile search, find a genius feature on this site called, “quick match”.

This is a feature where the search engine randomly picks a match for you, and you rate the person one out of five stars.

If you give them four or five stars, they will notify the person that “someone” rated them highly.

They will then have to go through a list of people to rate, and if they happen to rate you as highly, you will get an email being told you are a “match”.

It’s the Olympics of vanity.

I don’t even bother with using the rating system unless I’m giving four or five stars.

Fuck giving someone one star… skip button!

I could spend hours wasting time on this feature just seeing if I could win the “prize” of being considered mutually acceptable.

I have not given up faith as a whole on this cupid adventure just yet.

I have made some friends in my journey, and when push comes to shove, what more did I expect from a free internet dating site?

Some men don’t want to shell out the money for a 1-900 number so they IM women on free dating sites asking, “thigh highs or pantyhose”.

Sadly, some people are on here to date.