Dana Michael's Blog

After joining Okcupid.com, I went on a slew of “coffee dates” this past February.

You know the kind of pseudo date I speak of, the one’s you accept because you aren’t so sure that you are interested, so you set up a preliminary interview in a neutral location.

One with an easily visible exit and no “Let’s get another round” excuse clause.

This way you’re only wasting an hour or so of your life, and if all goes well, a follow up dinner date can occur.

I was so caffeinated from my busy “social life” in the month of February, I don’t think that I even slept.

Mr. Cupid, himself, would have been proud.

He also, most likely, would have shit his cotton diapers from all the stimulant’s subsequent side effects.

Anyway, this kind of set up is the closest I have ever gotten to a “blind date”.

But, apparently, blind dates are ALL the rage with the young kids these days according to MTV.

There is a show on their channel called, “Disaster Date”, and it is exactly that… a disaster.

“Disaster Date” is a new hidden camera show where “friends” set their “friends” up on what they think are blind dates with half rate improvisational actors.

It’s a messy game of revenge and ultimately Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

The actors are given a guide to everything that their date despises in this universe to be used against them to make the date the most uncomfortable evening of their lives thus far.

Really, the friend who set the whole thing up was wronged initially when set up with someone they didn’t like in the privacy of real life.

So, naturally it’s ONLY fair to take all of their fears and insecurities OF THEIR VERY BEST BUDDY and air them on television for a solid hour of humiliation.

Paybacks are a bitch

But I haven’t gotten to the best part yet…

The “daters” are not mere victims in this scenario.

They do earn a whole dollar for every minute they last.

A whole DOLLAR Beave!

That’s $60 people.

In total it’s only half an eight ball and not enough for a new pair of shoes, yet MTV deems it enough to endure public indignity.

What boggles my mind is the length of time some of these daters will endure with these lunatic actors.

A few of them are rather talented, but some of them are down right unrealistic.

I wonder if I am on a hidden camera show often when dealing with retarded people, and would not hesitate to ask these people if I were on a first date with them what the fuck their problem was.

One actor broke a glass on his head, threw it on the floor, took his shoes off and began walking on the glass asking all in the coffee house to follow his lead.

Did his half witted date think this was real?

If she did, she should be cut with some of that glass because she is a moron.

If she didn’t, she should’ve been damn pissed that in the end the producers handed her $60 to be on her merry way, because she looked like a smacked ass on television.

The funniest part of this show is that the cast isn’t extraordinarily good looking for the most part… with the exception of one actress.

When any pranks are being done by this ONE girl, all the guys last all 60 minutes.

You know why?

Because dudes don’t care how crazy a bitch is if she is hot.

She can worship the devil and wear a wedding dress to the first date, but if she looks good all else seems to roll to the waste side.

Girls get a bit of a “crazy leeway”.

That is until after sex.

Then those hidden annoying traits are once again apparent.

I feel bad for the other girls on the show who bite their nails and the guys walk out.

“Oh no she didn’t bite her nails! I’ll take my $2 and latte… bitch had a fupa.”

This show is more than a poor “Twilight tween” version of “Candid Camera”.

It’s a social commentary on how far you can push a person, how much looks matter and how much money really says, “I’m sorry”.